Boundaries & Chronic Illnesses

Setting and maintaining boundaries when living with a chronic illness is essential for both your physical health and mental well-being. These boundaries help protect your spoons and can help create realistic expectations in relationships, work, and daily life. So let’s explore a few of these together.

1. Physical Boundaries

These are about managing your spoons, pain, and overall health.

• Rest and Recovery: Say no to activities when your body needs rest—even if it's inconvenient for others.

• Pacing: Break tasks into manageable parts and avoid overcommitting.

• Diet and Medication: Stick to what your body needs even if others encourage otherwise, it is your body. There is also a lot of misinformation out there.

2. Emotional Boundaries

Protecting your emotional space is vital when others may not understand your illness.

• Educate selectively: You don’t owe everyone a detailed explanation of your condition.

• Limit toxic interactions: Avoid people who minimize or invalidate your experience (“But you were ok the other day”).

• Permission to feel: Give yourself space to grieve, be angry, or rest without guilt.

3. Social Boundaries

Balance connection with self-preservation.

• Decline without guilt: It’s okay to skip events or leave early if needed.

• Flexible communication: Let friends know you might not always respond quickly or be available.

• Selective sharing: Choose who you open up to and how much you disclose.

4. Work/Professional Boundaries

Navigating work with a chronic illness requires honest limits.

• Disclosure (if appropriate): You can choose to inform your employer or HR for accommodations.

• Reasonable accommodations: Ask for modified hours, remote work, or task adjustments.

• Know your rights: In many places, disability protections exist i.e the UK.

5. Mental Health Boundaries

Living with chronic illness often impacts mental health, so set boundaries for psychological safety.

• Therapy or support groups: A space where your experience is understood and validated.

• Mental rest: Say no to emotionally taxing conversations or media that drain you.

• Avoid over-researching: Protect yourself from overwhelm and misinformation online.

6. Internal Boundaries

Sometimes, the hardest person to set boundaries with is yourself.

• Release unrealistic expectations: You don’t have to “push through” every time.

• Self-talk check: Replace guilt or shame with compassion and acknowledgment.

• Celebrate small wins: Honor what you can do, not just what you can’t.